Dad got home and immediately went out in the back garden, locking the back door behind him as he did. Johan was sitting on the edge of his hole – he was far too big for it now. Dad approached him and then walked straight past. He had his mobile ’phone up to his ear and as he passed Johan he said, very loudly, “What here, in our town? Really? Oh that’s brilliant! Will there be cameras and everything? Wow! Broadcast to the nation, really? That is great. Yes, yes I’ll come. The kids are there already. It was easier for them to go direct from school, I’ll meet them there.”As intended, Johan’s interested was sparked by this and he waddled over to Dad.

“It sounds like you are planning some fun?
Do you have some room for a little one?

Dad smiled as Johan described himself as “a little one”. The troll was now about the size of a large dog but rounder and he looked decidedly less cute. According to plan Dad didn’t answer Johan but just looked at his ’phone. Eventually he pretended to realise Johan was there and said “Oh hello Johan, are you well?”

Johan nodded and just looked at him with anticipation. He had an expression like a dog wanting you to throw a stick for it.

“What’s the matter?” Dad asked. “Oh, did you overhear that? There’s a parade on today and we’re all going to watch. It should be a great evening. I might even get on the TV! Say, would you like to come? There will be lots of people in costumes, you can just pretend to be one of those.”

“Really, me?
Oh! What glee”

“Oh,” Dad said with a frown, “but you can’t because if we get separated, you’ll get lost and you won’t be able to find your way home.”

“Do not worry, I have a plan.
I can leave a trail, oh yes I can!
All I need is something to lay
As we walk along and
I’ll find my way – er – home.”

Dad smiled at that last bit. Johan clearly was so excited by the prospect of getting on TV that he completely forgot he had to rhyme.

“Actually,” Dad said with a smile, “I do have some old balls of wool inside. You could use those. I won’t miss them.”

Johan was so excited by this that he started jumping up and down.

“Really, you do?
You wouldn’t mind?
Could you fetch them?
That would be kind!”

Dad went back in the house and came out with a bag of blue wool he just happened to have in the kitchen. This was mostly because he had brought it into the house with him when he came home.

“Here they are!” Dad exclaimed, “I think there will be enough.”

Johan jumped even higher in absolute delight and almost clapped his hands. Or he would have if they had met in the middle. His arms were so short that instead of clapping, his hands just flapped about. It was quite funny to see. Dad tied one end of some wool to the trapdoor handle and the two of them walked or waddled out the back gate. It was dark by then so nobody would have noticed or at the very least Mr Peaflummock might have thought Dad was taking the dog for a walk.

You might be wondering how I know all this if I wasn’t there but I was there. When Dad had dropped me off, I walked back to the house and by the time I arrived Dad was already in the garden. I sneaked round the back and waited in the shadows for them to leave. I had peeped through a knothole in the fence and when they left I went into the garden.

As soon as I got there I untied the wool and started to slowly walk out of the garden. I followed Dad and Johan some distance behind so Johan couldn’t see me. I needn’t have bothered as he was so excited that I don’t think he’d have noticed if a Tyrannosaurus Rex was following them. As I walked I gathered the wool they had laid, rolling it into a ball. When I was a few streets away from the house I turned away from the path they were following and went the opposite direction, pulling the wool with me. When it was all gone I tied another ball of wool to it and carried on walking.

It took me a while to weave in and out of the various alleys and footpaths and I could have made better time if I got direct but I wanted to lay as long and confusing a trail as I could. Eventually I reached the start of the fields where I had agreed to meet Tim and Priya. They weren’t there but out of the corner of my eye I saw a faint glow coming from the grass.

“Sucrose” I whispered.

++PLUM FAIRY++ came the response.

I smiled at Priya’s use of Sugar-related codewords and walked towards Sugar. He was standing not far from a pylon with fencing around it. I knelt down to speak to him. It still felt weird that I was even doing that. This was, after all a toy robot. I had to keep reminding myself that this one was a bit special.

“Are you sure you know how to get to my house?” I asked.

++YES++ he said.

“And your friends will be able to do what they need do in time?”

++YES. IT WILL BE DONE BY THE TIME WE AGREED.++

“Okay then.” I said. “Here’s the wool.” and I handed him the ball of wool I had been unravelling as I went. He took it and then said

++MARTIN, IT WILL BE ALRIGHT. DO NOT WORRY++

After that I ran as fast as I could to the agreed meeting point where Angie was standing, looking cold.

“They’ve not arrived yet then?” I asked.

“No, but they should be here soon.” She said. “Are you sure this is going to work?”

I shook my head.

“Have your friends done this before?”

“I’m not sure. They are not exactly normal.”

“No wonder they made friends with you then.” She smiled and poked me in the arm. I smiled too, it was interesting how having a common task had made bicker less.

“I’ve been thinking,” Angie continued,”what if Johan finds out what we’re doing?”

“What do you mean?”

“Will he get angry or something?”

I shrugged, “I don’t know. Apparently trolls can be quite nasty if they want to be so I guess we’d better hope he doesn’t.”

“Nasty?”

“Yes, all those stories about eating goats and things might have been based on some truth.”

“He lied to us!”

“Of course he did. He wants us to pay attention to him. he’ll say whatever he can to make us focus on him. If he’s anything like online trolls he’ll make it as shocking or surprising as possible, just to get a reaction.”

“How do you know about online trolls, all of a sudden?”

“I did some reading on them.” I smiled, “Look, here comes Dad.”

Dad came round the corner with a waddling Johan beside him. Johan was unravelling a ball of wool as he went completely oblivious to the fact that it no longer went to our back garden.

“Here we are.” said Dad to Johan as they arrived. Then he turned to me and said, “Did you find us a good spot Martin?”

“He got it wrong!” Angie said with a huff, right on cue.

“Wrong?” Dad asked.

“Yes, sorry Dad.” I mumbled, “It turns out the parade started up this end of town but it has moved off. The best place we’ll get to watch now is actually when it goes past our front door.”

“Our front door?” Dad said, loudly, “You mean it’s going to go right past where we live?”

“Yes.” I said, “I didn’t realise. We need to get back there quick before it’s too late.”

“Okay, then we’d better run.” Dad said and with that, again right on cue, the three of us ran off further up the road. Johan paused for a second and then realised we had gone. He called after us.

“You must wait.
Slow down I say!
I cannot keep up.
I will lose my way!”

As we got out of his sight–line I ran back towards him.

“Johan!” I yelled, “Come on! Keep up!”

“I cannot!
I cannot!” he yelled.

“If you lose us, just follow the wool. It will take you all the way home.” I said and ran off.

“An excellent plan.
I shall do all I can
to get there before the parade.
Oh what a worry.
Dear, dear I must hurry.
I cannot afford to be late.”

Johan unravelled the wall as he went along

But I wasn’t listening, I had run off. The three of us ran in entirely different – and wrong – directions, just in case Johan caught sight of us and followed. Johan started gathering the wool and followed it all along the length he had laid. Of course he didn’t know I had laid a false path for him to follow so when he finally reached the end of the wool and found it tied around the trapdoor handle he must have thought he was in the right place. He must have been worried because he didn’t notice that he could fit in the hole again. He also didn’t notice the hole was deeper than it used to be and it didn’t appear to be in my garden. This was the part of the plan I was worried about but Tim and Priya assured me that Johan would be too concerned with missing out that to look at his surroundings. He didn’t notice the patch of wet mud – odd considering it hadn’t rained for a while – right in front of the hole. As he approached it he slipped and fell straight in.

The trapdoor shut on top of him and with a ‘click’ it was locked. From behind where the trapdoor had been open, Sugar the robot stood with his antennae flashing.

When we lost Johan Dad, Angie and me didn’t go home. We decided it wasn’t a good idea in case Johan saw us and started following us. So we went to a chippie for chips with gravy. The problem was that nobody has chips with gravy down here so we had to have just chips with curry sauce instead.

After about an hour we walked back to the house and carefully peeped over the back garden fence. We all gasped at the same time.

The hole was gone. Not even a trace of it remained. In its place was a freshly dug trench ready for the foundations of our shed. It was as if all the stuff with Johan had never happened. We went in and inspected the garden. Not only was the hole gone but the animals were gone too.

Dad unlocked the back–door and we went in the house. Just as we arrived a supermarket delivery arrived with our groceries so we spent the rest of the evening putting them away.

We never heard from the troll again. Dad and Angie never found out what really happened to the hole. That was mostly because I never told them.

We agreed never to speak about Johan on the principle that if he ever found out we were paying him attention he might return. They don’t know that he is very unlikely to come back. I guess they are just quite happy, as I am, to put the whole mess behind us.

I warn you though if you ever find a trapdoor under your garden, ignore it. Cover it over again and plant a tree on it or something. Whatever you do, don’t open it. If you can’t resist though, if you do open it and find one inside, remember:

DO NOT FEED THE TROLL!

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