Three things struck me as interesting about this creature: firstly, that it had been buried under our back garden and was still alive; secondly that it could speak and understand us and thirdly that it spoke in rhyme.

Although it said “Yes it was.”, that wasn’t all it said. In fact the first thing it said to us was more like a limerick.

“Yes it was I that you heard sing.
My hope was that help it would bring.
When your digging I heard.
I thought ‘Oh my word!
An adventure perhaps can begin!’”

At first we just stood there, in silence. I think we were all wondering if we were dreaming. I certainly was. I mean there was a fluffy creature living in a hole, under a trapdoor, in our back garden, speaking in rhyme. Pretty cheesy rhyme at that. As the seconds passed though I realised that I wasn’t dreaming and this was real or even if I was dreaming, standing with my mouth agape wasn’t probably going to help.

It was Dad who spoke first. “What are you?” he said to the creature.

“I would have thought that was clear,
if you have something up here.” It replied tapping the top of its head.

“There’s no need to be rude.” Dad said. “We’ve never seen anything like you before so how would we know what you were.”

“But surely you saw the sign on the door?” The creature smiled and pointed at the open trapdoor.

“You don’t mean you’re a troll?” Dad said, “That’s ridiculous!” The creature nodded.

“This is not a game,
Johan is my name and as I said,
it is clear I’m a troll.
Do you have any food?
I don’t wish to be rude,
but I could murder and ham and cheese roll!”

“B–but the sign said not to feed you.” Angie stammered.

“So you did see it then,
my young little friend?” The troll grinned and carried on speaking.

“Do not be concerned with the letters.
They are there for the ninnies,
the daft and the silly.
For those who don’t know any better.”

Then it stared at each of us and said

“When you opened the door you showed me for sure,
that you were drawn by what you might find.
It is clear from the start
that you three are smart
and have an inquisitive mind.”

“Yes I suppose we do” said Dad, “but that doesn’t mean we are careless. If the sign says not to feed you it must be for a reason.”

“My goodness! A reason?
Of course there’s a reason.”

“What is it then?” I asked.

“Well it refers to the trolls that are weird.
The ones that are greedy,
the ones that are needy,
the ones that should always be feared.”

“And you’re not one of those kinds of trolls then?” I asked, raising one eyebrow. The troll spread its hands and said

“What do you think, young man.
Do I look like I am?”

“Well, I’m still not sure we should feed you.” Dad interrupted, “For all we know, feeding you might be what turns you into one of those kinds of trolls. The ones that live under bridges and eat goats.”

“Oh dear not again,
will his myth never end?”

the troll exclaimed,

“You’ll not find a troll who eat goats,
They’re too big and have smelly coats!
We don’t live under bridges,
we’re trolls, not midges
and we rather cross rivers in boats.”

“So why do all the stories have wicked trolls in them?” Angie asked. “Surely there must be some element of truth behind them?”

“Those are lies told by goats and spread by others!
The truth is we’re friendly and animal lovers.”

It stared hard at her and she shifted uncomfortably. “I’m sorry.” she mumbled.

“Well we’re still not going to feed you.” Dad said, holding up a hand to stop Angie protesting, “At least not until we are more certain of a few things.”

“I’d be happy to help, all you need do is ask.
I think that you’ll find I’m more than up to the task”

“Thank you for the offer,” Dad said, “but I would prefer if we found out by other means.”

“Well I never! You’re rude as well as clever!”

“I beg your pardon?” Dad said, “I wasn’t being rude. I am just saying that I’d like to check out a few things first.”

“But you won’t ask me? I can’t really see why my word you not trust.” and then it mumbled as if to itself,
“They’re rude to me yet I’m meant to be the mean one? It’s all a bit much!”

“He has a point Dad.” said Angie.

“What?!” Dad said. “No he hasn’t. I am not being rude!”

“Well you are shouting.” I commented.

“Oh for goodness’s sake!” Dad spluttered. “Right that’s it! You,” he pointed at the troll, “listen to me. I am not saying I don’t believe you. I did not say I don’t trust you. I simply meant that I don’t know anything about trolls and I’d like to check with Google before making a decision to feed you. The sign clearly says not to feed you yet you say that doesn’t apply to you.”

“That is plain to see,
unless you’re as daft as you seem.”

“Arrghh!” Dad shouted. “What is it with all the rhyming?” he didn’t wait for an answer. “Choosing not to feed you without further evidence is not what an idiot would do. It’s what sensible people would do. Either way we are not feeding you until I find out some more information. Somebody put that sign there for a reason. I’d like to find out why and whether it is true or not.”

“If you’d said that to start, it would have more sense.
Instead of saying I’m lying and causing offence.”

“I don’t think he said that, did he?” I said. Which got me a frown from Johan.

“Well he sort of did.” Angie said which got her a big smile.

The troll carried on regardless.

“I find myself interested in where you will look.
You mentioned “Goodle” is that a book?

We all laughed at that. “Not Goodle,” I said, “Google! It’s not a book it’s a search engine.” I could see this meant nothing to the troll. “It’s a place on a computer you can go to find answers to questions.” Johan just stared at me, quizzically so I continued. “To be honest, it doesn’t provide many actual answers, it just points to places that might have them or at least the ones that want to sell you something about the answer.”

“It’s not that bad.” Dad said. He liked Googling for things.

“Is that the only location
to find information?
Could you look somewhere else?
You must have books on your shelf?”

The troll asked, sweetly.

“Yes we do but probably not about trolls. Wikipedia might be a start.” I said.

“That’s not even a proper encyclopedia! Angie huffed.

Johan turned to Angie and said

“So no answers to find?
Perhaps you have something in mind?”

“Wikipedia is great.” I said, glaring at Angie.

“Except it’s edited by anyone who feels like it.” Angie said, “There’s no way you can trust information provided in it. A proper encyclopedia is better researched, much more accurate and–”

“Much more out of date.” I interrupted with a smile. “Wikipedia is as trustworthy as any other encyclopedia. The problem is that you place too much trust in a dusty old hardback book from the last century than you do from a website where people check and update the facts all the time.”

“Or make them up.” retorted Angie.

The troll looked as if he was getting bored. He looked at Dad.

“This discussion, if I could just ask:
do you think it is really helping your task?”

“No.” Dad chuckled. “Not really. But I will use Google and Wikipedia and,” he turned to Angie, “our other encyclopedias.”

“And they will complete the knowledge you seek?”

“I hope so.” Dad said.

“Then may I suggest you use them in your quest.
But in future if you could recall
this useful advice, so small:
Good manners are free
if you use them you’ll see
they can be a great help to all”

Dad sighed and said in an overly polite voice “Okay, we’d better go back to the house. If you could stay here, we’ll come back tomorrow to let you know what we’ve discovered. Does that sound okay to you?”

“To me that sounds fine,
considerate and kind.”

“Do you have to rhyme?” I asked. “I mean you do it in everything you say.”

The troll looked at me,

“Surely not all of the time?
And besides it’s hardly a crime
if my words sound the same?
It’s fun, like a game,
to always speak in a rhyme.”

I was going to respond but Dad kicked the trapdoor closed with his foot. “That’s enough for now, I think.” he said, shaking his head smiling._

We all went back to house. All the while Angie and I continued arguing about the merits of Wikipedia. If any of us had been able we might have seen that, underneath the trapdoor, the troll was smiling to itself.

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